Wandering Along the Path: Right Speech

As I write I hear a foghorn, so it's not the brightest of mornings.  The fog will burn off, and we are grateful to it for keeping our climate moderate.  Last night we watched "All The President's Men", which struck us both as pretty much the situation our country is in now.  Corruption and disinformation at the highest level and with the cooperation of the CIA and FBI.  Coverups.  But unlike the Washington Post, our current press seems to have no power to persuade voters (except for the left) that we have a criminal in the White House.  Nixon resigned rather than be impeached, but Trump is not that kind of guy.  He's the Big Bluffer, and he makes it seem like Nixon possibly had some kind of conscience.  What happens when there is no Jimminy Cricket on your shoulder?  Then you have a post Disney world with no happily ever afters and no morality on the table.  Seeing the movie, I realized this IS who the Republicans are and have been all along.  Lie to the people, get cosy with lobbyists, take money from people who then own you, and turn a deaf ear to ordinary constituents.  Not much of a party of Lincoln, is it?!

Wandering Along the Path: Right Speech

I walked with a friend this morning, and part of our conversation was about her mother-in-law, who has dementia and is in a memory care facility.  She is past all pleasures and is being awakened to eat.  Yet her body is resilient, and she is on no medication.  I have another friend whose mother is deteriorating in a similar way, and a friend whose mom is sharp as a tack but who wants to die, but her body is fighting gallantly to keep on going.  It's sad to witness, and to be responsible for these older ladies is terrifying.  For two of the women all quality of life is gone.  For the third, she IS the witness to her own decline, and wishes she wasn't.  I lost my parents way too soon, but they were fully cognizant up until their deaths.  My father could ask himself for his friend to give his eulogy, and make choices about how and where he died.  My mother had had a fun day the day before she died, shopping and lunching with a girl friend.  She woke up and her stomach was upset and as she stood at the sink she collapsed and died instantly.  They were present.  I feel for my friends who have parents who are absent in spirit, but their bodies remain, shells not fully inhabited.  It's not fair, but it is how complex life can be.

Wandering Along the Path: Right Speech

My friend and I took a long walk, stopping for cappucinos, to buy books, and to get some produce.  We found these amazing white apricots that were sweet perfection.  We got to talking about not having families to support us, and making friends into family.  But she has a mother, who lives with her, a sister, brother-in-law and a niece and nephew.  I have only two cousins and an aunt who connect with me.  Then I got back and my husband said his sister had emailed him and suggested she, he and their brother meet.  This is after decades of not seeing each other.  Is this good our bad?  I don't know.  I will not be invited to meet.  And I'm kind of done, having had no interest from either the brother or sister in me, any of our kids, or our grandchildren.  They don't know their birthdays or names.  I feel like my husband should do whatever feels right, and I'm staying out of it, but there is a tipping point, and for me it was not rsvping to our kids' weddings.  Okay, don't come, fine, but NO response?!  They are not family to me.  As I said to my friend, I'm a little bit to Old Testament at this point.  They've had 45 years to connect, and I guess I've had the same amount of time to disconnect.  It's sad, but true.

Wandering Along the Path: Right Speech

Yesterday, when I was in Target, it crossed my mind that a gunman would have an easy time mowing down a lot of people of color, children, innocents buying food, and as the lady in front of me, obviously a teacher, school supplies for students.  And then we had two shootings in El Paso and Ohio.  This is crazy.  Our Congress seems to have no interest in protecting us.  Maybe we need to stop going to stores until the coast is clear.  Order everything online and let the businesses take action.  Amazon would be very happy.  They've been hoping we'd cocoon ourselves, drug ourselves, slap our faces in front of screens nonstop.  Then we'd be perfectly isolated from our communities, our families even.  Under siege.  We need to speak up, financially support gun control, vote against anyone who doesn't have a record of protecting our lives.  Otherwise, we're in foxholes in a third world country; our own.

Wandering Along the Path: Right Speech

This morning I shopped on a Saturday, which normally I avoid.  I must say, I saved money by doing so.  First I hit Target, and since they have redone the entire inside, I wandered around like someone lost in a forest, and got exhausted before I could by a single frivolous thing, as is my tradition.  I came home with toliet paper, toothpaste, hand soap, and birthday cards.  Well, that's fudging a bit.  I bought a hipster hat for my baby grandson, and a book about preschool for the next oldest.  But I was so restraintful.  Next I hit Nordstrom Rack, and left after waiting in line for items I could have done without:  rubber flipflops, a summer shirt, a zoo flipbook for the grandsons, and hand cream called lemon custard.  Who could resist that?  The line to check out was long, and it caused me to waste my time looking at lipsticks and other cosmetics that I had no intention of buying.  But I COULD have found the perfect moisturizer, in an alternate universe.  I came home exhausted, and wondering why I'd gone out.  Impulse buying, I guess.  None of us are above it. 

Wandering Along the Path: Right Speech

We had our two year old grandson today, and took him to a park he likes to play in, and he wallowed in the sandbox, rode the see saw, climbed and slid and did the swings, until we saw a truck across the road pull up with a construction vehicle that our grandson fell instantly in love with:  an asphalt grinder.  Yes, we had to ask what the name was, as we'd never seen one before, and trust me, we're up on our construction vehicles, due to this little boy.  We witnessed the grinder being carefully offloaded from the big rig, and lumber it's way around the corner into the playground parking lot.  Of course, we followed it.  Then we observed the setting up of the tearing out and repaving of the lot.  That was when my husband asked what the darned thing was called.  We finally tore our grandson away, and he kept up a monologue all the way home about wanting an asphalt grinder.  He's been promised by his parents a new truck if he tries the potty seat, but the tanker truck he'd wanted was now forgotten in the ecstasy of the asphalt grinder.  My husband couldn't resist looking on line for a toy one, and there it was, for only $190,  Our daughter and son-in-law are going to resent us for this.  I just know it.  We're in trouble!

Wandering Along the Path: Right Speech

Almost the end of the month, and summer, for me, carries a load of expectations that are not met, because they are unrealistic.  For instance:  get up to the cabin way more than I actually can, take a fabulous trip to a country in Europe,  travel with friends, keep up my writing, lose weight (always part of the dream), exercise more, garden.  None of these goals have been met, and are highly unlikely to be.  I have slowly lost some weight, but I now notice I'm eating more again, perhaps to prove to myself I'm hopeless.  Okay, so I'm hopeless.  I still like myself, at least moderately.  I still have some summer left, with a bang up trip over Labor Day.  I believe part of my problem is that my birthday is usually on or around Labor Day, as is my husband's.  So the summer ends with being older.  I know, not logical, every day I'm older, but let's face it, we don't live rationally, we're all a ball of conflicting emotions.  So the summer ends in disappointment, but, as they say, the alternative is worse. 
I'm a little gloomy because it's overcast today, and NOT summery.  Not one little bit.  Did I miss summer yet again?!  I better not.  Time to drive to somewhere hot, which will only take about ten minutes.  See?  I have a plan.