Wandering Along the Path: Right Speech

I talked to a childhood friend a couple of days ago who has just found out she has stage 4 breast cancer.  She sees her oncologist tomorrow and will then know the treatment plan.  She's just had knee surgery, and has a history of back surgeries, knee and hip replacements and now this.  It's a shock for her, and she felt like it came out of nowhere.  I hope I reassured her of the many options these days for treatment, and that she felt a bit better when we rang off.  But really, I'm many states away and though another friend of hers and I plan to visit, we really won't be much help.  Fortunately, her husband will be right by her side, and they've made friends where they live now and have many others across the country.  She has a daughter that just moved to my town, so maybe I'll be able to offer support for her.  But this journey is a difficult one and there is little I can do to ease it.  I will pray for her.  She was so good to my parents when they were alive, and I'm forever grateful.  They would be devastated if they knew.

Wandering Along the Path: Right Speech

So I had my eye appointment this morning, and my eye is still holding, which is a relief.  I was waiting outside after for my husband to pick me up, when the woman I was sitting next to inside asked if she could talk to me.  Had I had eye injections.  Yes, I said.  Many.  She asked did it hurt?  I assured her it did not, and explained the procedure and my experiences.  She said she was relieved, because she hadn't been able to decide between injection and an experimental study.  She was my older daughter's age, coloring and had had breast cancer twice, like my daughter.  She had first been diagnosed at the same age as my daughter.  We discussed how the treatments can affect the eyes, and I shared that my daughter now wore glasses, when she hadn't before.  I told her to be sure to get MRIs periodically to check that she was still in remission.  We talked about needing an advocate when you have medical visits.  She said her mother is hers, but she hadn't been able to be with her this morning.  I saw my husband double parked to pick me up, and we quickly hugged and said we'd pray for each other, and it was as if I'd been given the gift of hugging my daughter two states away.  We connected, this young woman with a battle behind her, and I, mothering her a tiny bit in the absence of her mother.  I felt love for her.  Immediate and true.

Wandering Along the Path: Right Speech

I received two back to school photos of our granddaughter.  She's dressed head to toe in black with a purple backpack.  Shades of her mother in her Goth phase.  Though only 10, she looks older and she certainly has the will power and mind of a much older person.  I love it that she revels in her own beauty and mind and talents, and pray that puberty, when it really hits, doesn't undermine that confidence.  Her parents do all the right things to keep her creative and stimulated.  It's just I know the next few years are hard for kids, and hormones and social twists and turns are stressful.  Our culture is trying harder to make the environment for girls more relevant and supportive.  But we still have a long way to go.  I wish for her that she knows her strength and fights for what she wants.  Girl power!

Wandering Along the Path: Right Speech

I drove up to babysit my older grandson, and at dinner he fell asleep sitting up.  He snored.  I couldn't wake him up, so I texted my son and he said just let him sleep.  I pulled back the covers on his bed and stuck him in wearing his soccer shorts, shirt and socks.  He slept like a rock until this morning.  We went out to breakfast and I visited his preschool, then said goodbye.  He knew he'd missed really being with him much, but he'd had a playdate that morning and I delivered a train table for his birthday, and there had been too much excitement.  He's having challenges about sharing his toys, who is a best friend and what is a best friend.  Social drama is exhausting him a bit, but he's up to the challenge.  Luckily, I see him again next weekend, and we'll ride a train and see a train museum, so more excitement is coming up soon!

Wandering Along the Path: Right Speech

Yesterday my husband and I along with our younger daughter, son-in-law and grandson attended an open house for my long time friend up the street.  She had her house converted to a duplex, with her having almost the same amount of space, but a new living space added on for her daughter, son-in-law and two grandchildren.  It was fascinating to see an accommodation for my friend's advancing years and widowhood.  She now has built in company, and a bustling family with which to engage.  Since she has been babysitting these grandchildren three days a week since they were born, it feels natural.  Now her grandchildren can go to the elementary school down the street where she herself taught kindergarten until she retired, and her daughter lives in a better neighborhood than she could probably afford otherwise.  I wonder how it feels for the daughter to be back in the house in which she grew up, but in a part that didn't exist until now?  I'm so curious to see how people my age adjust to needing less stairs, more help and a new lifestyle.  It looks like my friend has made a bold and wise move.

Wandering Along the Path: Right Speech

Yesterday we took our younger grandson to a museum, where we perused the history section for wagons and old cars and firetrucks, then headed for natural sciences, where we pointed out animals and saw a bear video.  But his favorite moments were watching the turtles in a pond in the courtyard, as they jumped off and swam with just their little heads out of the water.  Next favorite:  the koi in that same pond.  After that we tried art for a few minutes, and he loved an installation about mountains that he could walk in, sit down and snuggle with his kitty.  We wisely left after that one exhibit.  He's quite an amiable child, as are my other two grandchildren.  I take no credit, they are being raised with love and thoughtfulness, but it means going places with them is pure delight.  I even have enthusiasm for cars and trains and trucks, because they rub off on me!

Wandering Along the Path: Right Speech

When I was at the museum with my friend yesterday, we decided to order a curry at the cafe, and lo and behold, it was scrumptious.  The beauty of the sauce, a creamy soft yellow, was worth the price, but tiny tofu chunks, sweet potatoes, squash, pepita seeds, lime leaves, coconut, and other delights caused us to eat slowly and savor every bite.  At some point we both said how we were sick of cooking meals at home.  But neither of us wanted to go to restaurants that often either.  We wanted a COOK.  Someone who planned and shopped for the meals, perhaps consulting with us as to the menu, but basically leaving us free in the late afternoon to read or listen to music until we heard a little bell for dinner.  We are both married to wonderful men who will chop and dice and occasionally shop, but the burden essentially falls on us.  I told her I feel like I've made every meal a million times, and even when I tear recipes out of magazines or browse my cookbooks, everything feels like a slight variation on something I've made before.  I wonder if I'd have dinner at all if it weren't for my husband.  So we laughed and felt the relief of admitting all the fun had gone out of meal preparation, and went home and in my case I sent my husband to pick up crispy chicken tacos.