Wandering Along the Path: Right Speech

We're doing the last little things before our trip tomorrow and there is a tension and excitement intertwined with the process.  So many possibilities for things to go wrong and so much that will be fascinating.  My childhood friend is meeting us with her granddaughter and we'll have three days together.  She has been thoughtful about the plans and I so look forward to seeing her again.  My granddaughter will get on the plane to come here in a few hours, and she makes me so happy.  She's at a delightful age and is game for adventures and travel.  Her mother is the same.  A bit of deja vu!  I love how people support us in this endeavor:  our son is driving us to the airport and my friend is picking us up.  It takes a village!

Wandering Along the Path: Right Speech

I'm gratified to see the former first ladies have spoken out in unison about the evil separation of children from their migrant parents.  Yes, our country was never paved with gold, but I did think we were a compassionate and generous people.  This action shames me.  I can hardly bear to think about these children, huddled in big tents, like circus animals, without any idea where their parents are or what is going to happen to them.  It's the stuff of nightmares.  Is this blatant racism or what?!  Our president doesn't seem to see others as human with feelings.  It's all about him and his privileges.  When I learned, many years ago, that our country had turned back boats full of Jews during World  War II I was horrified.  That was not who I thought we were.  The interment of our Japanese citizens was another shock.  I ought to be numb by now, but each time I cling to the words at the base of the statue of Liberty.  We should aspire to be our best selves, and do unto others as we would want them to do to us.  Don't smother our spirituality.  Speak out about this abominable policy now.

Wandering Along the Path: Right Speech

I visited a friend this morning to lend support for a health issue that landed her in the hospital overnight.  We discussed how we resist taking medication, but on the other hand, we're of a age where deterioration is inevitable, and more monitoring necessary.  As my Buddhist teacher used to say, quoting Bette Midler, "old age is not for sissies".  I helped her clean up her kitchen, get the dishes in the dishwasher, put away silverware and wipe down the counters.  I had a big wet spot on my shirt front after, and she offered to dry it, but I wasn't bothered at all.  I'm of a height where if I'm near a sink my shirt gets sopped.  This health development is a whole new ball game for my friend, and she's talking out her feelings and fears with her friends.  That's just what I like to do as well, and I hope I comforted her a bit, or at least served as a sympathetic sounding board.  We need to know we're not alone.

Wandering Along the Path: Right Speech

My father has been gone 32 years.  But he is a presence in my life.  He guides me in love.  I knew he loved me every second.  That was his great gift to me.  He got angry with me, he didn't understand me or my values, he felt I made wrong choices.  He was bluntly, sometimes brutally vocal about it - no holding back.  But he was my rock, and not for financial reasons, although he believed that, but because his love was boundless.  He didn't respect women much or get along with his mother.  But he saw me as like himself, and we looked like twins, so I was an exception.  He was leery of my education but proud.  He felt entitled to judge me, and I had a hard time shrugging off that voice inside my head that was him:  his values, his era, his limits.  But I'm free of all that now, so all that is left is boundless love, and because of it I have been able to love myself.  Thanks, Dad.

Wandering Along the Path: Right Speech

Yesterday my husband and I saw "Won't You Be My Neighbor?"  It's a wonderful documentary about Mr. Rogers, and as I said to my daughter, all you need to know about parenting.  I cried through a lot of it, because it reminded me of when my children were small and watching, and he was so wise and tender and brave.  He dared to stand up to those exploiting the "children's market" and say what was unhealthy and harmful that kids were watching on TV.  He also talked about things that most parents keep from their children:  death, assassination, war, racial prejudice and fears.  His listening capacity was phenomenal.  He heard, saw and respected children, and he honored their trust in him.  How much we need someone like him again, and how much we miss him.  He liked us just the way we are, and we loved him just the way he was.

Wandering Along the Path: Right Speech

I benefited greatly from being incommunicado at the cabin.  My cell phone doesn't work there, so, though in an emergency I have a land line, the news apps and deluge of emails that have nothing to do with me really were stacking up quietly.  There was one thing I missed:  the Belmont Stakes.  Three days after it was run I heard from my son, who's cell phone did work, that Justified had won the Triple Crown, and I was thrilled.  As I child I devoured the Black Stallion books, Margaurete Henry's horse stories and many others, and growing up mainly in Virginia I was fascinated by horses.  Yesterday my husband found the You Tube video of the race, and at the end I had tears in my eyes.  I'm not rider, I'm just an admirer of horses.  We had a pony for the kids for a few years, then a horse for seven years.  I loved her, but I didn't ride.  I broke the ice in her water in the winter, shoved manure, brushed her, treated her with oats, and brought her back when she escaped our corral.  She was wonderfully good natured, and gentle with our kids.  Deborah Butterfield's horse sculptures bring tears to my eyes.  Horses are social animals, but they are usually imprisoned and isolated, which is a terrible thing to behold.  Justified will have plenty of social cache and fields to run in, but he's one of the lucky few.  My hat's off to his great heart and effort and sheer beauty of his body.

Wandering Along the Path: Right Speech

There is nothing like a two year old to keep you on your toes about right speech.  We've just spent a week with our older son, his wife, and our grandson, and we thought before we spoke, and also didn't speak of many things that might confuse or scare him.  Little pitchers have big ears!  We wanted him to trust the lake and the boat, and that entailed explaining the rules carefully and insisting on a life jacket, etc.  He was amazingly cooperative, and he loved playing and wading in the lake and riding on the boat.  He saw osprey and a bald eagle and ravens and thousands of butterflies.  He was thrilled with the catepillars that dropped onto the deck.  He picked up pinecones and litchen.  We rocked in rocking chairs on the deck.  We put his puzzles together again and again and played with Playmobil figures.  We read all the stories in the Curious George book I'd gotten him over and over until he pretty much had them memorized.  We had FUN!