Wandering Along the Path: Right Speech

I visited a dear friend this morning, out in her back yard and 6 feet away with masks. It is her birthday and I had a gift of two books, since that is really about all we can do these days, as we are totally shut down. I hadn't seen her in a long time, as first her husband had surgery and they had to be super careful, then recently they had a scare of covid which fortunately resolved well. We used to walk, but now she is tutoring from home some students who need extra help, and she finds it frustrating and depressing. One little boy, in particular, makes her sad, as he can't engage well and she really has no idea how to help him online. He is seven. She described a sailing trip she and her husband took recently to an island nearby. It was great to get away. I agreed that walks I've taken were energizing and uplifting. The wind was blowing and the sun was in her eyes and I kept sneezing from some plant in her yard. It was the best we could do. But it wasn't really pleasant.

Wandering Along the Path: Right Speech

I finished my postcards to voters in Georgia yesterday and walked down to mail them. The box is in front of the grocery store seven houses from ours, and it is open seven days a week, except that on Friday, as we drove by after picking up curbside some books I'd ordered, the lights in the store weren't on. A bit later my husband walked to the grocery to see what was going on and the sign said they were closed for a few days and the staff would get tested for covid tomorrow. I had run in masked and careful a few days before and so had my son. If a worker has covid, that could affect my neighborhood dramatically. We carefully ordered more than usual from Instacart, because maybe once a week or less one of us would go to that store for a few items. This dread and fear is getting hard to bear. But it is a beautiful fall day, with persimmons bright orange against our bare leafed tree, and a golden floor of leaves in our yard, patio and steps. My husband is sweeping the leaves off our porch right now, and I am making cards for the grandkids with some of them. I am beginning to address Christmas cards, and I do love cards. So there is joy and fear, peace and dread, ordinary life that would never have been called such before the pandemic.

Wandering Along the Path: Right Speech

Last night we watched "A Thief of Time", a Tony Hillerman TV movie produced by Robert Redford. It's maybe my favorite of the three movies that were produced years ago starring Adam Beach and Wes Studi. Even though the middle one was written by my former creative writing student, Jaimie Redford. Last year Studi won a special Oscar and gave a terrific speech. This year he was named one of the 20 best actors of this century so far by the New York Times. Of course, like everyone else I first encountered him in "Last of the Mohicans". As Mugwa, he ruled the screen. Yes, I had a crush on Daniel Day Lewis, but Studi was electrifying. The last movie I saw with him was "Hostiles", which was wonderful, except for the ending. My husband asked me last night which actor (Indiginous) I preferred: Gary Farmer, Graham Greene, Adam Beach, Eric Sweig, Sheila Tousey, Tantoo Cardinal, or Studi. I paused, because I adore Gary Farmer in "Dead Man", and love the rest, but I went with Studi. His face is distinctive, alive with physicality, and he has such a wide range. I feel he is a national treasure.

Wandering Along the Path: Right Speech

Today we drove in separate cars with our younger daughter and her two boys to a garden an hour away. We were relieved when we arrived to note only a couple of cars, and indeed, there were few people, with everyone wearing masks and being careful. Our four year old grandson loved the lights and even in daytime, they were beautiful. There were many Christmas trees, some huge, with giant ornaments. He was fascinated. After, at the gift shop, he picked out an ornament for their tree and I bought him a decoration with bells. We were even able to have lunch outside safely. We all loved getting away, and it upped our spirits considerably. Even the baby was smiley and ate all his lunch. We topped it off with a chocolate leftover from Halloween. We're under threat of further lockdown, so perhaps the garden will close. We will endure whatever we have to, but going SOMEWHERE, ANYWHERE is a great mental health aid. And for any age. We had three generations on extactly the same page.

Wandering Along the Path: Right Speech

Well, our younger son, his wife and our eighteen month old grandson have departed for a life two states away. We are sad, but know it's an excellent choice for them. We had five days with them in the house, with us interacting constantly with our grandson. He may not remember us at all when next we see him. This is ordinary life with the pandemic, and I don't feel sorry for myself, because I know millions of people are cut off from the ones they love. I decided to haul all the toys strewn in the living room and kitchen upstairs to the bedroom with the toddler bed and portacrib. We now officially have no pod, so none of the grandkids will be inside our house. It's been years since the living room has been "adult". Of course, I can't socialize so nobody but us will take advantage of the new roominess, but getting the room cleared out seems appropriate. I don't want to stare at kiddie things and think of what I'm missing. It already feels so quiet in the house. Very strange. We may have to get another dog.

Wandering Along the Path: Right Speech

I'm writing postcards to unsuspecting potential voters in Georgia. I'm not asking them to vote one way or another, just to vote in the runoff. I figure if one person out of all these postcards votes, it will have been worth my hard work. I'm getting quite good at this postcard business. And I'd rather do that than text or phone. As soon as I finish these 50 cards, I'll begin my Christmas card writing. I'm tempted this year to do a form letter. We'll see. Most important to me is the grandkid photos I send. The kids change so much and I like my friends to have up-to-date pictures of them. Plus, I have a brand new grandson this year. I know Christmas cards are old fashioned, but so are a lot of my friends: we appreciate the hand written and specific. I love reading Miss Manners in the newspaper, because she is a dinosaur like me, and still values the effort of cards, thank yous and get wells. She's fighting a hopeless battle but I admire her for it. As long as I can do it, I'm putting in the effort, to show my love and concern. It's a little thing, but most gestures are. And from little things come surprising connections and affections.

Wandering Along the Path: Right Speech

Today is my best friend's birthday and we had a zoom meeting to celebrate her. She looked beautiful, and her son, daughter-in-law and two granddaughters were so loving and fun. It was nice to see her friends online as well. I texted her this morning and she said we would have to take a trip the minute we are vaccinated and can travel again. I have so many terrific memories of our trips. We have been to Santa Fe twice, Quebec City and Montreal, Morocco (Marrakesh, Fez, Rabat, Casablanca, Ifrane, Meknes), Florence and environs, and little trips to Calistoga, Vashon Island and other places. She has been like a sister to me, and beside me at all of my kids' weddings and most graduations. She's supported me through my kid's illness, my parents' deaths, my brother's suicide, and my daughter's death from breast cancer. She's been a rock. We talk for at least an hour a week on the phone, and we laugh and tease and moan and groan and complain. I don't think I could survive without her love and caring. I deeply appreciate the serendipity of meeting her in a conscious raising group 47 years ago and being on a path with her ever since. Other friends and I have parted ways, but she and I have fought to keep our friendship relevant and rich. There is nothing I don't tell her, and that means my petty, judgemental, ungenerous side and not just the bright path I struggle to follow. She knows who I am. And it's a treasure beyond imagining to have someone SEE me. I hope I do the same for her.