Wandering Along the Path: Right Speech

I finished a book, "Late Migrations" by Margaret Rendl, and really enjoyed it.  It's a memoir, which also includes stories from her older relatives.  It's hybrid structure appeals to me these days.  Her connection to the woods and her southern background echo my love of the woods, forged by where I've lived most of my life, and I spent two years in Alabama and six in Virginia as a child.  So much of the terrain is comforting to me, and yet I felt not southern, but alien.  My father was there to integrate the garment plants, and we were considered troublemakers.  We also were disturbed by the fact that all the work seemed to be done by black people who lived in separate towns.  My mother was the only woman she knew who did her own laundry, cooking and childcare.  I sensed how wrong the balance of power was, and the fact that we were part Indian meant I didn't identify with whiteness as this gift from god.  My parents told me one thing, but the people around us had a different assumption about how important they were.  Yet from the southern years came my best childhood friend, and she is a great support and comfort to me now.  Like the author of the book, she loves and observes birds in her woodsy yard on the outskirts of a tiny town.  As kids, our days were spent walking in the woods, riding our bikes ten miles to the river to swim, and dreaming of boys and movie stars and the next dance.  We've become more substantial since then.  At least I hope we have.

Wandering Along the Path: Right Speech

I went over to my younger daughter's house to help with the kids.  The 3 year old told me to take care of the baby.  He wanted his mom all to himself.  I told my daughter now I know why "Lady and the Tramp" was my favorite movie as a kid.  Lady was perfectly happy with her owners/parents when a baby arrived on the scene and spoiled everything.  My brother was born when I was 2 3/4 years old, and I couldn't see what all the fuss was about.  He was a noisy blob, and not a doll. Nobody would let me play with him.  He was no fun, and everyone focused on him, not me.  When we showed this 3 year old the beginning of the movie, he was indignant that the parents neglected Lady.  This is right up his alley.  Luckily, I'm happy to hold baby while his mother pushes his swing, reads to him or plays with him.  I, however, was forbidden to read to him.  Little does he know I understand completely!

Wandering Along the Path: Right Speech

My older daughter is suffering more pain, and I feel so helpless.  I want to go to her, but she wants her life normal as long as possible.  But nothing is normal.  I feel as if something is breaking my body in two, and she must be on a journey I cannot even imagine.  She is so brave and transparent and loving - giving as much as she can to her daughter, her friends and family.  I hope and pray we are giving something comforting to her.  I know she is grateful for her life, with all her writing, teaching, travel, relationships and most of all motherhood.  I believe it's as she says, she feels blessed.  But it's also so arbitrary and unfair and cruel to not let her witness her daughter mature, to not see the effects of her novel on her readers, to not be freer to see people because of Covid 19.  She deserves none of this, and I don't know how I will be able to bear the loss of her vibrant, beautiful being.

Wandering Along the Path: Right Speech

Today we had our daughter and her two sons over all day, so she gets some help with them.  The 3 year old was major busy:  he baked chocolate chip cookies, he picked flowers, he painted with glitter paints, he drove his trucks outside, we went for a walk, he found rollypolly bugs and centipedes and spiders and inch worms, he had lunch which he ate because he wanted a cookie, and throughout it all he talked non stop.  His energy is amazing, and he is a winning character for sure.  His baby brother is quite the talker as well.  So when they leave the noise level pulmets, and we are stunned for a while.  I'm amazed I have the energy, but somehow I do, and I'm present and in the moment the entire time.  No worries about the virus or the state of the world, just keeping the boys safe and paying attention every minute.  I feel useful today and it's a great feeling.

Wandering Along the Path: Right Speech

Today my Buddhist teacher also had a guest speaker and both addressed fear.  There is no more important topic right now, as we all battle waves of fear over the virus and the unknowns about it.  They both suggested meditation, as it brings us back to the present moment, instead of being lost in thinking about the past or future.  But the second aspect surprised me a bit:  have a good heart.  For Buddhists, I feel it means leading in all actions and thoughts with compassion and love.  When a question was asked about talking to children, they stated that speaking from a place of fearlessness reassures children, so be careful about conveying fear that is in your body or mind at that moment.  Wait until your own mind is calm and then your energy system will soothe them.  It's okay to not know the answers to everything going on right now, but keep children away from fear mongers, like the media and people who want to express their fear in their presence.  I also protect myself by not looking at any media about the coronavirus.  I read any facts about safety, and the rules in our state, but otherwise I protect my heart from unnecessary fear.  Don't know is not a bad place to be.  It's better than mulling over scenarios that may never happen.

Wandering Along the Path: Right Speech

Here is my current formula for joy:  I put on the CD of the soundtrack from "Babe" and sing along with the song the farmer sings to Babe about making a day golden and true.  My heart soars, I begin dancing, just as the farmer does in the movie, and I sing loud enough to shake the house.  Yesterday I was grumpy all day, so I began today with the CD, and played it through at least three times, once while babysitting my one year old grandson and dancing him on my knees.  I guarantee you it will lift your spirits and remind you what art and music and film can do:  put us in touch with our deepest, richest feelings like joy or sorrow or wonderment or love.  Today my gratitude goes to my working stereo system that has brought me so much music and the comfort it provides.

Wandering Along the Path: Right Speech

Every day I make a little video for my grandkids and today I decided the story would be about anteaters.  Since two years ago, when my husband and I, our older son, his wife and our grandson visited San Diego and saw them in the zoo there, I've been fascinated by them, especially the giant anteaters, who can be 8' from the tip of their tails to the tip of their very, very long noses.  Their fur is long and sweeping, like the mane of a horse.  Anyway, I fell in love with the two I saw in the zoo.  They live in Central and South America, but have been driven almost to extinction in Central America.  Their habitat is being eradicated.  The forests, grasslands and other areas are being burned or developed.  They eat 35,000 ants a day.  How wondrous such animals are, and exotic.  Perhaps they are not necessary, but they prove the glory of the universe.  Some day I hope humans can protect and appreciate these gifts that do not directly benefit them, but make our world magical.