Wandering Along the Path: Right Speech

Today I had lunch with my Buddhist swim buddy.  We don't see each other that frequently, but when we do we discover we've been thinking about similar things.  I was telling her I was missing not laughing as much as I used to and she said she and her Israeli friend had been discussing that very thing.  My friend believes at our age we are "sober".  We see clearly and that view dissolves a lot of the kind of laughter that bubbled up when we were perhaps less "awake".  We laugh, but not so often and usually only at ourselves and our expectations and predictability.  When she said that, suddenly, I no longer thought anything was wrong with me.  I'm simply on a different part of the journey.  There was nothing to fix after all.  My friend has that ability to set me straight and share experiences in a way that is soothing.  I trust her completely.  I believe that 100% of the time she has my welfare in mind and sees who I truly am.  It's a blessing.  We finish each other's thoughts, and share the loss of our brothers and the deep concern for our families.  We are on the path together.  How comforting!

Wandering Along the Path: Right Speech

My friend sent me a photo of the fire at the Columbia River.  This is near where my daughter and granddaughter live, and it is a horrifying image.  Fire haunts us here in the west.  We never feel safe from it, but especially not at this time of year.  Today is my birthday and I'm old enough to have learned to coexist with fear, but not to conquer it.  I've been evacuated at both my current house, my last house and my cabin.  You let go of everything; for in a moment it may not matter.  And people in the east right now are experiencing that fear from the wet, not the fire, with flooding and predictions and projections and maps.  Where will the storm go?  What will happen?

We all know in our bones change is just around the corner, across the street, or in the house where we live.  We shore up our families and friends as buffer against the arbitrariness of life, and random cruelty, the senseless violence, and yet we feel in our hearts nothing is secure.  Maybe our belief in surviving, whatever the cost, for some of us, but we don't really know until we're tested.  The fire next time, the flood, the earthquake, the storm.  Live now and treasure this moment.

Wandering Along the Path: Right Speech

I'm not that excited about getting a new car.  Impermanence is ever before me now.  Will my eyes hold or will I not be able to drive tomorrow, if the macular degeneration gets worse?  Will my age cause other health problems or the ultimate health problem?  Is something new exciting for someone my age?  Not really.  Things.  It's all things.  Things to disperse to my children and grandchildren.  We are going to downside our house, and I won't be so excited as the other times we moved.  Because we will get rid of most of our stuff, and it's a temporary abode for only as long as we don't need assisted care.  Not having stairs may not be enough to keep us independent.  That's not fatalistic thinking, it's seeing what is so.  I'll still enjoy the car and the house.  But excited?  No.  Nothing compares to family and friends at this stage of life. 

Wandering Along the Path: Right Speech

Yesterday we went car shopping with our younger daughter, her husband and baby, and it was interesting to see how different our car needs were.  They needed something bigger, with lots of haul space, and we were downsizing, as we now have such a big family that it's impossible to go in one car no matter what it is.  We'd like to be able to accommodate a car seat for the baby boys, but a circumstance would be rare when we'd be driving them places.  And our granddaugther is older enough she doesn't need even a booster.  So I got a glimpse of my younger self, when I was so thrilled to buy a family car, and take my children's friends to soccer and that sort of thing.  And maybe they got  a gander at themselves twenty or thirty years hence, when they will thinking a small parking spaces, not birthday parties.  It goes by fast.  But they won't believe that if I tell them.

Wandering Along the Path: Right Speech

I'm reading a mystery by Louise Penny, the Canadian writer, but it is also about the opiod epidemic.  If what she implies is true, we are about to lose many people to this vicious drug, and we have already lost so many.  Her description of the evil people who benefit from this traffic makes it seem such a problem of epic proportions that it all but seems hopeless.  I admire her for tackling the subject and daring to have a possible solution.  Speaking out, when you've got millions of people listening, is brave and important and yet seldom done outside of journalism.  Her books reach people who are tired of reading about drugs, and she freshens up the debate and the ways to grapple with this destructive global greed.  I admire her courage.

Wandering Along the Path: Right Speech

It's my husband's birthday today, and the family that is near went to a brunch and then a museum.  The two little fellows did great, but we took our cues from them.  Their wishes were our command.  Our almost two year old grandson had a huge pancake and pronounced it "tasty".  The nine month old ate like a stevadore.  It was cooler today, as if in celebration of our celebration, and the breeze was wonderful.  We didn't push things though.  We parted when naptime beckoned.  The agreement was unspoken:  we do what's best for the children.  I see a lot of parents dragging overtired kids around and pushing them past their limits.  I'm glad my family doesn't do that.  We are limited by what the littlest can manage.  And it's still way fun!

Wandering Along the Path: Right Speech

Our nine month old grandson swiftly tore the newspaper from the table while in his grandpa's arms and stuffed it in his mouth.  Eating speech is an interesting concept.  No nutrition, but a fit use of the news.  We were trying to get him to say "mama", but he prefers to growl like a baby bear.  We're not sure what to make of this, but I'd say it's a safe bet he's of the bear clan.  Yesterday was unbearably hot (excuse the terrible pun) but he managed to take his nap in our darkened bedroom, and our daughter called this morning to ask if he could take his nap here again today, as their house is so hot upstairs.  Of course we love to have him, and we're cooler here because we're surrounded by trees and in a sheltered area with the street above being way up to block us from the sun.  Normally I grumble about it, but when the weather is warm, we're a haven.  And baby bear is our haven.