Wandering Along the Path: Right Speech

I've been at our cabin the past two weeks, and boy, did what I envisioned as relaxing retreat become a right speech challenge immediately.  The cabin next door was having a roof put on, but that was not the problem, that was just the unexpected annoyance.  The roofers wanted to traipse through our front to carry heavy equipment, and then, when I reluctantly agreed, the next day the weight and number of trips caved in a hidden septic tank that we didn't even know was there.  A man fell in six feet, but fortunately was unhurt.  Then I had to talk to the roofing owner and say no more crossing the property:  I was liable and it was too risky.  He agreed, but the next day they were crossing again.  I had to confront the guy and have another clarification, that now, no, we did not want them using our property.  They had by that time unloaded the lot, but on the weekend the couple who own the cabin came up and we had to have an hour talk to clarify our position and insist that no more use of our front was acceptable.  They were nice, and brought two bottles of wine.  But next they are doing some foundation work, and we won't be up there, and we have water and sewer lines under that bit of earth, and I'm afraid that this habit of using our property will persist.  I have to let it go now.  I was friendly, respectful, but crystal clear.  But the situation is not in my power to control, and I know it.  I did my best.  We'll see.

Wandering Along the Path: Right Speech

I went with a friend to hear Paul Kingsnorth read from his two new books last night.  His work is fascinating, and he himself engaging and brilliant.  He's English, lives in Ireland, and writes about the collapse of civilization under the current policies and pressures.  He believes we've lost touch with our animal natures and our connection to the natural world at a cost that is tragic.  His writing makes you think and look more closely and honestly at our state on the planet.  Amazingly, it's optimistic in ways, and his connection to Buddhist thought is strong.  Now I want to read his work and also that of Charles Eisenstein, another writer who covers similar territory. 
I see a strong connection between Change Your Mind, Change the World and Kingsnorth's writing.  A strange and wonderful week!

Wandering Along the Path: Right Speech

I'm getting ready to go up to the cabin again, but it's hard to pull myself away from people and things to do down here.  There are birthdays coming up:  two of my good friends, and a grandson birthday, and a wedding, and a driving test at DMV and an eye injection and a trip to a bridal shower.  I have a quilt to sew and a poem to write and to select a song for the rehearsal dinner.  Now my blessing is these are all happy events, except maybe the DMV if I don't pass.  So one day at a time.  I have a list and like Santa's, I'm checking it twice.
To counter such buzz up, more meditation is in order, and a sense of humor and a few movies and mysteries.  I can see this through, if I keep my equanimity.  Or when I lose it, refocus and have some stillness.  I'm grateful for my practice.

Wandering Along the Path: Right Speech

Last night I went with a friend to see a panel discussion of Buddhist teachers called "Change Your Mind, Change the World".  I was inspired by the hopefulness and wisdom in the room.  Khenpo Tsultrim Lodro, Anam Thubten, Sharon Salzberg, Norman Fisher, and Jack Kornfield were the panelists, led by Wes Nisker.  Jennifer Berezan sang a song at both the beginning and end.  They each had a gentle, unique view of how we respond to the urge to change other people's minds instead of focusing on what we can change, our own mind.  The energy in the room was electric, and I believe most of us left with a renewed commitment to our practice, and with a faith in our own power to change the world by our interactions with it.  I'm blessed to live in an area alive with teachers and meditation centers and like minded people.  My teacher was on the panel, and I felt overwhelming gratitude for his being and how I've grown under his teachings.  A night to remember!

Wandering Along the Path: Right Speech

My daughter just called.  Her baby is teething and totally miserable.  I had no tricks up my sleeve.  All I can do is listen and offer for her to come here for a change of pace.  Come to think of it, mostly, with the people I love all I can do is listen.  Last night I talked to my best friend, and she's in agony over a muscle in her knee, and won't be able to have a cortisone shot for a week.  I wish I could alleviate the pain, but I can't.  Sending a get a well card won't cut it.  But I can talk it out and she knows I'm hoping and praying it will get better.  This injury was probably from our trip together, and the walking was too much for her.  It was challenging for me as well, but at least my knee didn't totally collapse, as it did in January.  It doesn't take much at our age.  We have so much fire and energy and curiousity, but the body won't cooperate.  And even a baby's body can do bad things:  like sore gums and wanting to stuff the contents of the toy chest in your mouth.  We can be sympathetic, and sit next to them on the journey, but we can't stop the train. 

Wandering Along the Path: Right Speech

I just returned from two weeks at our cabin, first with our older son, wife and grandson, then our younger daughter, her husband and baby grandson.  It was fun.  Seeing the world through fresh new eyes is always a treat.  The trees, the wildflowers, the lake, the birds:  magic!  One grandson learned how to identify and say "Ponderosa Pine" and the other learned to crawl.  How blessed we felt.  We woke up at dawn, and the day for the little ones was over before dusk.  How I admire my kids for their energy.  I don't know how I did it!  The weeks were filled with appreciation and love and minute to minute presence, which is necessary with young children, and benefits us so much.  I'm grateful.

Wandering Along the Path: Right Speech

Yesterday I walked with an old friend, one with whom I've had my ups and downs.  I detached a bit, enough to feel healthy and not full of expectations of her.  Now when we meet it's relaxing and cosy, because I'm not her judge by proxy and she's not someone to whom I reveal my deepest feelings.  Neither of us feels rejected anymore.  So she asked about separate rooms on a little retreat we are doing in September and I said I'd like a separate room, because she admits she coughs.  I wanted so badly to agree to share, but it wouldn't have been honest and frankly, I don't think I would have slept.  She was utterly graceful about it, and made my taking care of myself easy.  I appreciate that sensitivity on her part.  It's one of the things that keeps this long friendship viable, despite some rocky moments.  We've both learned more about ourselves and our shared meditation practices help that along.