Wandering Along the Path: Right Speech

I talked to our younger daughter about a work decision she has to make this week for next year, and I was honored that she wanted to discuss it with me.  I thought about it before we talked and felt like I gave her my best advice, but after I had this niggling feeling that perhaps I'd suggested the wrong path.  I become nervous when giving advice.  When I was younger I was more confident, but as I age I see how complicated and convoluted life is, and I possess no certainty.  What I do know is that attitude is more important in facing change, and that many paths might be interesting and rewarding.  And then there is surprise.  The monkey wrench in the works.  So part of me knows anything can happen, and rehearsing and preparing don't guarantee an outcome. 

I'm watching big changes in my daughter's life:  first her marriage, now a child on the way, a new home and a different job.  It's a lot.  But we will be here to support her, and my confidence is in her not me.  She's an amazing woman.

Wandering Along the Path: Right Speech

I was looking through notebooks last night and came upon a note about a dream I had a few weeks ago.  There was a tiny green parrot in my throat and I was singing.  I woke up elated.  I had no idea what it meant, but it felt like a gift.  I wonder if my habit of going with my foster granddaughter to a pet store with lots of exotic birds, which I love to converse with while she looks at rabbits and cats is part of the source.  And perhaps the other is my focus on right speech.  Perhaps I was dreaming that at some point in my practice I will be voicing beauty and joy.  Certainly the parrots and cockatoos and speaking birds in the shop delight me.  I could stand in front of a cage and singsong hello all day.  Or wave to the huge white parrot who waves back at me. 
I know trusting what comes out of my mouth is a work in progress, and requires dilligence.  But there might come a day when I open up my throat with complete confidence that only love and joy and respect for others will express themselves through my utterances.  And the dream is a worthy goal.

Wandering Along the Path: Right Speech

As I was walking our dogs this morning I met a man I've seen before walking his golden retriever and small mutt.  He asked about my female dog's lumps and I explained it was a wait and see situation.  He then stated he was a vet and they were easy and safe to remove.  I thought that over and when he asked me who my vet was I told him and he said he was excellent.  I somehow felt defensive, and volunteered that she had an infection they haven't been able to get rid of and she is on her fourth antibiotic, this one human medicine.  He assured me of course the infection needed to be tackled before any surgery.
He was friendly and meaning to be helpful, yet I was disturbed.  I don't really know anything about him and have no way of trusting his information.  I now feel slightly uneasy about not having removed my dog's larger lumps.  I'm wondering about my own vet's judgment. 
So I'm not sure the man did a good deed in stopping me and speaking about my dog.  I'm assuming he had good intentions, but he offered unasked for advice, and now I will probably question my vet again about the lumps, if the infection ever is eradicated.  No harm in doing so, but until then I'm a bit worried.

Wandering Along the Path: Right Speech

We had dinner with in-laws last night, and it was friendly and pleasant.  My husband and I have an avoidance plan that when encountered with tricky subjects we say nothing, and the conversation moves on.  Obviously, they have a similar strategy, and we let the young couple guide the topics.  Since we are all thrilled about their pregnancy, and they brought up the subject of names, we had fun saying what names appealed to us and the names we had a bit of trouble with because of associations with people that we didn't get along with.  The whole thing of naming sometimes gets taken too seriously.  My own regret is I didn't name my younger daughter's middle name after my mother, since our younger son has my father's name as his middle name.  I even like my mother's name.  But instead I gave her the middle name of a best friend at the time, who turned out to be totally disinterested in my daughter and never made any effort with her.  That bothered me for a while, but I don't communicate with the friend any more, and my daughter has taken her maiden name as her middle name now, and her last name is that of her husband.  So it all worked out in the end.  My other daughter hated her middle name as a child, then grew to love it as an adult and gave the same middle name to her daughter.  So time changes everything.  And there is always going to court to change your name, if it really matters to you.  I loved my name as a kid and still do, though I took my husband's last name when we married, so my maiden last name got dropped, but still pops up on legal documents and other places. 
My one piece of advice to the expecting couple was to have several names ready and wait and see what you get.  You may see him/her as more one name than the other.  Thank goodness we all agreed no juniors or IIIs.  I believe this baby will get his own special name.

Wandering Along the Path: Right Speech

I've just returned from a little interlude with my baby grandson.  Right speech in his case is repeating his sounds a lot, tone and lots of sing song and singing.  I'm currently partial to singing "Buffalo Gals" because it's so silly and I like the phrase "a danced with a dolly with a hole in her stocking and her knees were a knockin and her feet were a rockin".  He's a wonderful audience and when I play the Mozart cube and have his Jellycat bunny dance he laughs and laughs.  He's definitely a kind critic.  I've never felt so musically skilled.
Last night I took my son and daughter-in-law and grandson out to early dinner - we're talking 5:30 - and we celebrated my daughter-in-law's getting tenure at her elementary school.  It's such a relief and gives so much security for her.  Baby ate a lot of french bread and had a bottle while we had our kir. 
I miss him already, but may go down in a week for one day.  He's just the best conversationalist!

Wandering Along the Path: Right Speech

I've been away only a week but there has been a lot happening, and not just with my family but my friends and relatives.  It's almost too much news, and I feel a bit overwhelmed.  I've somehow missed celebrating my son-in-law's birthday and now we're on to dining with his parents sometime this weekend.  Oh, dear!  I'm going up to stay a couple of nights with my older son, his wife and my grandson, and can't wait to see what tricks he's learned.  I miss my grandkids so much.  Last night I saw my foster granddaughter at her school performing in the chorus.  She had a tiny solo and the chorus was the best ever, and I've been coming for 3 years.  When all the applause was over and she came up to me, I was stunned with how beautiful and grown up she looked.  The times they are a changin!  Next fall she begins junior high.  Oh, me, oh, my!
I am carving out space next week to see my friends and catch up.  We're all experiencing pregnancy of daughters, grandbabies soon to be born, retirement, travel and so much more.  It's an exciting time for us, and our friendships ground us amidst the changes.  They are my lifeline!

Wandering Along the Path: Right Speech

I've just returned from a girlfriend trip and the three of us had a great time.  There are challenges and lots of compromises, but the laughter and fun make up for sleep disturbances and strange bathrooms.  And these kinds of trips allow me to know my friends better and differently.  I've known one friend since we were eight and the other for forty years.  Yet I learned more about each and I also had a feeling sense of who each was right now and what was going on that was unsaid.  It's a gift to have that kind of intimacy, and since both live states away, I intensely absorb what happens when we're together.  How grateful I am to have such friends and how very rich they make my life.
And while I was on the trip my youngest was at a point to reveal her pregnancy, and I got to share the joy with my friends right away.  Last night and this morning, after I returned home, I've been emailing other friends and family with the joyous news.  So I'm a lucky lady, and don't I know it!