Wandering Along the Path: Right Speech

I see the same man each Monday morning picking up recycling.  I'm walking the dogs, and he says "Good Morning" and I reply with the same.  This morning he had his son with him, a boy of eight or nine, and the son noticed my dogs and they had a conversation about them.  What circumstances have brought this man and his son to this labor?  They are hard at work stealing recycling from the city, yet I admire them for trying to make ends meet.  What story brought them to my neighborhood?  They wouldn't have to live far away to drive over, for a few streets away in two directions it is dangerous territory.  Perhaps the man picked our area for it's relative safety and the fact that no one confronts him over the recycling.  How would we dare?  And how petty would we have to be to protest ownership of the stuff we throw away?
I don't need to look far to see the inequities in our society and the lack of jobs and dignity for people who want to work, want to show their sons they can labor honestly.  I hope their life turns in a positive direction.  I wish I could manufacture jobs for all these decent people.  I wish them hope and a chance to prove what they are made of.  And I struggle with despair about the election making any difference at all to their lives.

Wandering Along the Path: Right Speech

I walked to a movie theater a couple of miles from my house and saw Jodie Foster's new film "Money Monster".  It grabbed me and never let go.  The issue couldn't be more pertinent:Wall Street's gambling with investors' money, without regulation or consequences.  But Forster made her points in a fashion that was accessible and coherent.  Each character was distinctive and the protagonist was easy to empathize with.  I don't know if the release of this movie was calculated or serendipitous.  But it reminds me of "Under Seige", which was released right after 9/11 and not appreciated not because it was irrelevant because it hit too close to home, in a scenario which has Muslims profiled and targeted to the point of interment camps.
This film speaks out about the parts of Wall Street that never got fixed after 2008.  And Saunders is speaking out about this very real threat right now, and to a lesser extent, Clinton.  Even Trump is using fear of rich people's callousness to galvanize the poor and middle class who were so hurt by banks and investment firms who took their money and rolled the dice, then got protected and saved by the U.S. government.  The question is can any of these candidates fix the system?  Saunders is an outsider who is a brand new Democrat, and it's difficult to imagine him orchestrating a coalition with either party, Clinton may not be comfortable being combative, as Obama was not, and Trump hasn't the will or skill to fix what has made him rich.
I hope people see this movie, but I'm not sure it gives the viewer a path for the election.  It would take each voter pressuring their representatives relentlessly to get any legislation passed, and I'm afraid our Congress no longer feels beholden to voters but rather to special interests and their donors.  So I guess the first thing to get fixed is the election money loopholes.  Without that reform, we exert no pressure on Congress at all.

Wandering Along the Path: Right Speech

Yesterday, in line for checkout at a store, a woman came up behind me and asked me how much the three red pillows I was buying were.  I told her and somehow we began a conversation.  I told her they were more expensive, because they were scotchguarded and I had two very dirty dogs.  She said she had an eight year old granddaughter.  I exclaimed I had an eight year old granddaughter.  She asked where I'd found the pillows and I directed her diagnally across the store to the back in the garden section.  Not the decorator pillows, I warned her, with the outside furniture.  And off she went.
Not a profound conversation.  Yet I felt like we'd made a connection, and if I hadn't been in line and she hadn't needed to find those red pillows, we might have sat down at the coffee place at the front of the store and chatted for hours. 
Sounds silly, but she liked my pillow choice, and I was eager to help, and then we both had those granddaughters and could have gone on and on about them.  I love the random encounter, because it reinforces my belief in the interconnectedness of all of us.  We found common ground.  She brightened my day and made a boring shopping trip interesting.  I had a smile on my face as I left.  And I smiled again last night when I saw those new pillows on my TV room couch. 

Wandering Along the Path: Right Speech

I had a conversation with a neighbor up the street when her tiny white fluffy dogs escaped her backyard and beelined for my two.  They were like ants next to my lugs, but the four seemed to enjoy the encounter, and I wondered if she knew a dog a couple of houses up from her had been hit by a car and died.  We have speed bumps on our street, which seem to mainly serve as a challenge to drivers.  Our street is parallel to a main highway and loads of people have discovered the trick of barreling up the street and intersecting with the highway at the end of it.  The fact that the street is narrow and two cars can't pass safely doesn't deter them any more than the speed bumps. 
So I made a tiny connection to a neighbor I'd never seen before, and did a good deed keeping her dogs by me until she made it down the stairs and could grab them.  She thanked me.  A dog rescue effected  not by me as much as my dogs, who attracted enough attention to slow down the jumping bean dogs.  But it was a nice moment.

Wandering Along the Path: Right Speech

My husband has gone up to our cabin for a few days.  It's supposed to be warmer up there than here.  I'm happy enough hanging around home because I have a week's trip coming up with friends.  I'll finish a sewing project, a writing piece, and be sure I'm packed and ready for the trip.  I'll be quiet here, and it will be a mini retreat for me.  Silence is so companionable to me these days.  It feel comfortable rather than awkward, and I don't seem to have information I want to share as often.  The dogs are with me this time, so I can talk to them if I get desperate and there is always the phone or a plan.  I just finished an hour's conversation with my friend, and all's right with the world.
I like organizing the closets and cupboards, and figuring out what books to give away.  I'll work on the refrigerator, an ever present task.  And today I see my therapist, whom I haven't talked to in weeks.  The surprise will be what I talk about.  I never really know until I get there.

Wandering Along the Path: Right Speech

Last night we had dinner with our younger son and his partner.  It was relaxed and pleasant.  They seem so perfect for each other, but I've learned that I really have no idea about my grown kids' lives and their relationships.  My impulse is to want them to marry, because that has been my path.  But there are other options, and I've seen my share of miserable married people, and was one myself in my first marriage, so what do I know?
I don't believe I need affirmation of my lifestyle, so I must really be pretty happy in my own marriage.  This impulse of mine says nothing about our son and everything about me.  I like the compromise you have to buck up to in marriage.  It trained me up for other relationships and for parenthood.  I like hanging in when the going gets tough.  Every relationship goes through cycles and has high points and low points.  I even like the work required when miscommunication occurs and we have to back off and come at the problem from another direction.  I like learning that you can't change the other person.  Waste of time.  So then it occurs to you you can only change yourself, so you set to work on fixing yourself and that is rewarding in spades.
I like commitment and loyalty.  I'm slow as molasses to trust and when I do I'm there for you.  I'm not afraid of commitment, because the opposite is rootlessness and no intimacy.  Jump off the cliff, dive into the ocean and swim like crazy.  That's how you feel truly alive.  But that's just me.  As my Dad used to say, "Whatever floats your boat".

Wandering Along the Path: Right Speech

Today I spent the afternoon with my youngest child's kindergarten teacher.  She's 87, and curious and spry for any age, and she had found a small art show at an art center in a nearby town and we toddled over there and enjoyed gouashes by David Park.  There was another room of various artists as well and we took our time and then I drove her to a bakery where she had a piece of Tres Leches cake and I had a cafe au lait.  She peppered me with questions about former students who were friends of my daughters, and she expressed a sadness that her oldest grandchild has chosen to go to college on the east coast, and not in an easily accessible place.

So she's coping with a kind of empty nest that grandparents as well as parents face.  My grandchildren are small and that seems far away, plus my oldest granddaughter is already two states away so I've lived with that sadness all along.  But I was grateful I gave her the time and space to express what was happening with her, and listen.  Loss manifests in many ways, some surprising.  I hope the outing cheered her up.  I was glad to be useful and a friend to her.  I learned something as well:  people are never too old to experience loss and battle change.  It's in our nature.  She's fully alive, and I appreciate those strong feelings.  We care, up until the time we die.  Isn't it amazing?