Wandering Along the Path: Right Speech

What is right speech for weather people?  We see a lot of hyperbole and story spun out of scant possibilities.  Today in both newspapers there were big articles on El Nino, though the storm supposedly hitting us last night was a bit of spitting.  There is a need for forecast, so one can judge the perils of biking vs the bus, and consider grabbing an umbrella.  For car commuters, it helps to know this underpass is flooded and that road may be shortly.

But then it gets crazy:  dire predictions, scare tactics, wind warnings, stories of the tree falling on a house and crushing the owner, video of the tornado taken from a truck right in its path, pictures of a flooded back yard, seen over and over again.  This part is not weather, it is high drama.  Anything to catch your eye.  Ratings over reality.  The desperation of the lonely weather channel.  Not right speech, not truth or anything close to it, not helpful, but to some, entertaining.

It would be nice if the weather people could stick to what is happening today.  Be in the moment, so we could deal with what is likely on our plate right now, instead of obsessing  over the house or car floating or blowing away.  Their job is to help us stay practical and safe.  I know, it's boring, and they get tired up there on planet TV.  But less prediction and more guidance on how to get from here to there right now, today, would be helpful.

Wandering Along the Path: Right Speech

Today I pick up my foster granddaughter from school.  I've been letting her choose what we do, and was relieved last week when she wanted to bake at my house.  Today, though, I'm going to have to exercise a bit of guidance, as it's our daughter's birthday and I must get my granddaughter home in time to rush back, change and be ready for an early pick up to go to the restaurant.  Usually, I give over the afternoon to her, and even if initial aversion comes up, I flow with her plan and end up enjoying it.  I'm curious about her interests and opinions, and we talk when we're in the car about her plans and how school and chorus and piano are going.  I try to de-pressurize everything.  After all, she's had a full day at school and then chorus rehearsal. 

I've learned so much from taking this tact of giving her control over our time together.  I've been educated about rabbits, dogs and many other creatures.  We've drawn countless pictures together and made many presents, sewing some on my sewing machine.  And I've seen her go from a baby who lost her dad to cancer, to a toddler, to a kindergartener, to a preteen 5th grader.  She has a new dad who has adopted her, a three year old sister, a new house, school, life.  I've seen her miserable and filled with joy.  I was with her when her dad called to say her mother was in labor and to come right home.  I taken photos at countless concerts, shows and softball games. 

I had an impulse to help that has given me infinite rewards.  I definitely want to keep going with that flow that took me to an amazing child.

Wandering Along the Path: Right Speech

President Obama is asking Muslims to speak up about suspicious persons, and I understand his wanting the people probably most likely to hear something disturbing to help identify dangerous people.  But everyone should speak up if a threat or danger seems possible, including people who know mentally ill people with arsenals, people who overhear threats or "crazy talk".  Yet we all know why people are hesitant:  fear of reprisals, fear of scapegoating, lack of confidence in their own observations.  Possibly it all hinges on whether or not we believe in interdependence or individualism, and how compassionate feel toward others. 

What would I do?  I hope I would have the courage to speak to authorities in order to possibly prevent others from being harmed.  But I would be afraid.  I would probably be second guessing my perceptions.  If I'm honest I would have to say it would be a struggle for me.  The San Bernadino attack has caused me to wonder if some of my neighbors have guns.  I have been assuming I'm in a liberal enclave, but what do I know?  After my father died, my brother and I discovered he had a handgun in the closet.  My brother turned it in to the city police station.  When my brother died I found a rifle, pellet guns, and machetes, and he killed himself with a handgun.  I'd had no clue he had any of these weapons.  I didn't even know what was going on in my own family.  These weapons were no doubt meant as defensive, but their existence was disturbing.  Would my brother have killed himself if he hadn't had a gun at the ready? 

This territory is fraught with fear and confusion.  We certainly can no longer pretend guns haven't entered our worlds, for they are ubiquitous.  What we need is stricter control and more unheated dialogues about our responsibilities and our fears.  It falls on all our shoulders to protect in ways that are preventative, and we need perhaps to know more about what constitutes danger signs.

Wandering Along the Path: Right Speech

I'm practicing being extra kind to salespeople this season.  I thank them profusely, as when the transgender salesperson at Crate and Barrel tried her best to get me five more red pillows like the one I brought up to the counter.  First the computer didn't work, then she had to call up the warehouse, and then, after many minutes, no, there were no more, which is undoubtedly why they were on sale.  I thanked her for all her efforts.  I thanked every person in Nordstrom, and let them help me, which I normally wouldn't do but why not, really?  They didn't actually help much, but I was grateful, and one guided me in the right direction.  The Macy's person was very considerate, as a pushy lady was trying to get in ahead of me but the salesperson made sure I was taken care of first, without me saying anything.

What a tough time of the year for them!  Decades ago I was a salesperson at J.C. Penney for the holiday season, and the abuse I endured has made me extra sensitive ever since.  And it made me go to graduate school so I wouldn't ever have to have such a job again.  But there by the grace....

Wandering Along the Path: Right Speech

What to say.  There are no words.  Until yesterday I hadn't realized there is a mass shooting every day in the U.S.  So actions of the few speak for all of us as Americans.  Do we not think it will happen to us?  We should be forcing Congress to enact some limits on firearms, but though the majority of us agree something must be done to keep guns out of the hands of people suffering from mental illness and children and that assault rifles are not for hunting game, we do nothing.  And people die.  Every single day.  Already we turn off on side streets to avoid drivers with road rage, we leave stores when people are shouting at each other, we pick up our kids early from school from a prick of fear.  These gun owners have changed our lives. 

I saw yesterday that in Norway almost 900 people had registered to hunt down 16 wolves, from an almost extinct population of 34 wolves.  And that is just people who obeyed the rules.  So there are dozens of people with heavy firepower bumping into each other to kill a beautiful animal that is being driven from all habits.

I'm beginning to feel that we in the U.S. are being driven away from our habitats and habits.  Maybe we are such couch potatoes out of fear.  "It's a jungle out there" has literally become true, with rage and hatred run rampant and the seeming only alternative is to turn up the firepower and blast each other to oblivion.  What is this craziness?  We can't run from it, we can't hide from it.  It is time to insist on sanity in Congress and begin to stop letting the few terrorize the rest of us.

Wandering Along the Path: Right Speech

On Monday night, I felt a bit disconnected from my writing group.  I hadn't been in two times, which was over a month and people seemed uninterested in my writing, probably because it was from weeks ago and never got discussed.  I warmed up when other people began reading their pieces, and I realized again how talented my friends are.  Each person's writing is completely different but equally engaging.  At the end of the meeting we did quick writes and then read them to each other.  One of my friends wrote a piece off the top of her head so hilarious that I laughed for about five minutes.  I couldn't stop.  Her writing especially appeals to me, anyway, but this off the top of the head page was so goofy and wise at the same time.  Joy bubbled up in me and burst out.

Speaking with each other the way we do, confidentially, has meant a loosening up and bursts of amazing creativity.  Our voices are heard in a safe place, among friends and buddies, swim buddies, and we are all growing in our writing by leaps and bounds.  To be a part of this hub of creativity is thrilling, and I left the group reconnected and re-energized.  They have my back and I have theirs.  How fortunate we are!

Wandering Along the Path: Right Speech

Maybe it is too difficult to have a line that even hate speech must not cross.  But hate speech has become a spur to violence, a veritable encouragement to those who are filled with nameless rage and willing to act on it.  I'd like to see media voluntarily refuse to broadcast such speech, instead of lapping it up like cream.  This is not journalism.  This is bread and circuses.  Innocent people are being harmed each time words become action.

Perhaps sponsors could take the lead and not support shows on radio or television that highlight hate.  Children and teenagers are not protected.  I feel the same way I do when I go to an action movie and see a tiny kid dragged into the theater to be terrified and later probably addicted to such violence.  Is there no advocate for these kids?  And mentally ill people suffering because of lack of shelters, medicine and compassionate care:  are they to be left to complete horrific acts that destroy themselves and others? 

Our only sense of protection seems to be gun owners, and supposedly they can protect themselves, thank you very much.  So why, why are we not speaking up?  We need to drown out the hate speech by voices of reason and compassion and refuse to let these running off at the mouth thoughtless figures dominate our discussion on anything.  They are guilty though not responsible.  Don't encourage them by sitting open mouthed as they drone on.  Shut off any media that glorifies them and speak from your heart about YOUR values.  And protect the innocent from this evil influence that is holding sway throughout our land.