Wandering Along the Path: Right Speech

I talked to my therapist by phone, as I do every couple of weeks these days, and she wept at one point.  Her compassion for my daughter is so great and her empathy so open that she feels as if it is her own daughter.  What a blessing she has been for me these last few years.  Her guidance has been essential to my well being and wholesome actions, and I trust what she says implicitly.  When she compliments me on something I say, I usually respond that she is catching me on a good day.  But the truth is:  I feel better and more positive talking to her, so the darkness recedes.  I feel we solve things together, as a team, and she's in my head and heart enough that I feel her support at all times.  Therapy is a strange relationship, but I've been lucky with my person, and though I am not normally a trusting person, she has my complete trust.  That is amazing to me.  A gift.

Wandering Along the Path: Right Speech

I helped with my younger daughter's kids for five hours then went back home and called my "swim buddy" friend to talk about a dharma talk from Sunday.  We had a delightful time talking about experiencing joy in the cosmos, then my older daughter's amazing intelligence and insight in the face of her biggest challenge, then Hilma de Klimt, the great Swedish painter, then the stars this morning at four am when my friend slipped out to her balcony to wonder at them, then Venus, then my four year old grandson's sighting of the Big Dipper and Venus, then how strange and wonderful and unknowable this universe is.  We fly together and zip through the clouds and dive and soar.   What a Buddhist companion I have, and how fortunate I feel to share our experiences.

Wandering Along the Path: Right Speech

Late yesterday afternoon my friend and I met to walk around our neighborhood.  We sat on a bench six feet apart first.  We are discouraged and irritated, as is everyone, and grumbling to each other helps a bit, or seems to.  We are both struggling with a bit too much togetherness with our partners.  Little things show up.  Petty things.  And yet.  Little things see us through.  My husband and I went to a nearby canyon, following our younger daughter and her two little ones, and we reveled in the abundance of wildflowers and the cows.  The cows were great.  They ignored us as much as possible, but when we got too near their water tank, they herded us away to drink.  But gently.  Last night my older daughter called and we had a nice talk.  She was frustrated not about the cancer but her daughter's teenage like behavior.  I was supportive, because this is the stage where everything your mother does irritates you, and you absolutely, positively don't listen to your parents.  My daughter wants this last time with her daughter to be loving and empathetic, but hormones have gotten in the way.  So, a lot yesterday about irritation.  And sheltering, and how that frays patience.  Hanging in there can be hard.

Wandering Along the Path: Right Speech

As I was listening to my livestreamed dharma talk from Anam Thubten, I could also hear the birds outside, as I had my door propped open.  The teacher was discussing opening our hearts to the amazing beauty of the cosmos, and I could hear the echoing of our beautiful world outside.  The birds are happy that the air is cleaner, the noise level way down and their world kinder.  We are grateful for the natural world's sounds and sights.  Yesterday my husband was watering with a hose and a hummingbird flitted in and out of the water wherever he aimed the hose.  We were treated to a close up and personal view of one of the miracles of nature.  When I told this to my four year old grandson via FaceTime, he announced he'd seen the Big Dipper in the sky last night, as well as the moon.  He and all of us are the beneficaries of our clearer skies.  Focusing on the gifts that sheltering has brought us, really seeing them, is wholesome in a time of fear and uncertainty.  Look around and see what is right before our eyes.

Wandering Along the Path: Right Speech

We watched "The Hunt for Red October" last night.  In retrospect it was probably unwise, as we're feeling shut in and claustrophobic already.  And they smoked in a submarine!  It was nice to see everybody so young:  Sean Connery, Alec Baldwin, Sam O'Neill, Scott Glenn and others.  I miss Sean Connery, but respect his retiring and leaving the roles where a forty year younger babe is in love with him.  Gene Hackman also gracefully retired.  Anyway, it was a change to worry about nuclear attack instead of invisible viruses.  And it was a fairy tale happy ending.  Tom Clancy always takes us to the inevitable edge, then parachutes us out.  Yet you know the real ending would be darker than dark.  My husband loved submarines as a boy, and got to tour a nuclear sub as a prize for winning a physics contest.  He also made models of them in his basement.  So I was doing a kind gesture in deigning to watch with him.  Marriage:  it's all about the compromising.

Wandering Along the Path: Right Speech

I finished Don Winslow's "The Border" yesterday.  It's almost 700 pages and intense, but a great if harrowing look at the drug "war" in our country and also the corruption in Washington, D.C.  His characters are alive, and his conclusions are profound and terrifying.  One of his characters says in the book that he really thought our country was "better than this".  That is the feeling I had in 2000 when our Supreme Court stopped the counting of the ballots, then when we started the Iraq War, then when Trump won the election.  Now when I see the divisiveness in our country I don't discount it, because really, there have always been these polar opposites:  slavery/abolition, sufferage/denying women the vote, no woman President/the need to women to sit in that seat, prochoice/antichoice, medical care for all/only for the rich, unions/antiunion, etc.  I can't see how we can reconcile these John Wayne myth believers with a sense of community and interrelatedness.  But I know the first step is to see it clearly:  the contradictions, power lines and the poorly educated masses, who have never practiced critical thinking.  We need to be fighting for knowledge of history, of science, of how money moves and what capitalism's pitfalls are.  Everything is a gray area, and black and white will be the destruction of us all.

Wandering Along the Path: Right Speech

It's a beautiful, warm day and we took a morning walk that settled us somewhat, but we are a shaky couple right now.  We bickered yesterday morning, then in the evening our irritation with each other flared up again.  My husband went downstairs.  I stayed upstairs and tried to sleep.  By the morning, we were careful with each other, but still nothing had been reconciled.  We are locked in place together, and it is not a pretty picture some of the time.  We are fortunate people, but our minds are no more noble than anyone else's despite it.  Fear and uncertainty are eating away at us and those we love, and while we attempt to comfort each other, we radiate those fears.  Everyone is tired of being careful, and the next bit of time is dangerous.  We're not sure how much the sheltering is working.  We trust our governor, but where is the testing to give us some answers?  It looks like many of us carried this virus much earlier than we thought, and how many are carriers now?  Was my husband's and my flu THIS flu, or another?  And even if we had it, does it provide any immunity?  Nobody knows.  Don't know, don't know, don't know.

Wandering Along the Path: Right Speech

Today is the birthday of two of my grandchildren.  We had a Zoom party with the older and will have another for the younger on Saturday.  We tried to be gay and bubbly, but I see how fatigued the grandchildren are by now.  Not having anyone to play with is awful.  We also could see how the steroids are etched on our daughter's face, and how much unfair suffering she is experiencing, while trying to make her daughter's life happy.  I felt pretty devastated after.  How is it we cannot protect our children?  It is all wrong.  And yet, that is the nature of our human lives.  I can't accept it, but I cannot change it.  I pray the grandchildren grow up in a world kinder than ours, with an environment that is not ruined.  It is Earth Day.  Honor our earth and do what you can to protect it and all sentient beings.

Wandering Along the Path: Right Speech

We're getting some warmer weather, and I had a lovely walk with a friend this morning.  We're planning on eating a meal together, six feet apart in her back yard.  Pizza.  I haven't had a pizza in months since we've not done take out, but I can't go on forever cooking every meal.  I need a break.  Tonight I'm making a meal my mother used to do:  salmon cakes and mashed potatoes.  She made a white sauce with it, but I'll skip that part.  By now I'm running low on the little flourishes that make meals, like canned pickled beets, olives and cilantro.  I told my friend I've also had an uptick in craving bear claws, donuts, scones and cookies.  All things I can't eat.  I've made tapioca and sugar free chocolate mousse, but I want the hard stuff.  Ice cream.  Oh, well.  I'll have to stick with apples and pears and peanut butter.  It could be much worse.

Wandering Along the Path: Right Speech

We spent most of the day with our younger daughter and two grandsons.  The three year old was so joyous to come through the front door.  It has been hard for these children.  I won't underestimate how confusing and difficult it is for them.  We want to do what we can to help, and we've agreed to keep isolated except from each other.  We're seeing our one year old grandson tomorrow.  Our kids need support, and as long as we are transparent and honest about any outside contacts, we can do this.  If we have to isolate from each other again we can, but everyone needs a break right now, and we're following all the rules.  It's clear that our lives won't be back to normal for a year or two, if ever.  So we have to trust our own judgement and scientific guidance.  There is still so much information missing and we don't even know if getting the virus provides any immunity if you recover.  How many have had it without symptoms?  In our state nobody is really getting tested unless you are a provider or are sent to a hospital.  We're all in the dark, but our family is trying to lead with love and compassion.

Wandering Along the Path: Right Speech

I just finished listening to my teacher's dharma talk, and he focused on the difficult work of introspection about our shadow side.  Nobody wants to face our human nature, when it comes to ignorance, greed, hatred, jealousy and pride.  We wish to believe that we are better than that.  When we see protests where people are massing and demonstrating against the social distancing, it's easy to think we are superior to them.  We unconsciously reject them from our hearts, and dissolve compassion.  But I do feel compassion.  They are frightened, and it's a comfort to them to be united with others in their fears.  Their fear is well founded:  economic ruin, health and being unable to control this virus, feeling like they are outliers suffering for the city folks' benefit.  Yes they are harming themselves doing this, but we all have that part of us that wants to blame and unleash our anger.  Donald Trump is the embodiment of this fear and lashing out, and I've heard many people note how afraid he looks these days.  When fear arises, some ugly impulses also arise.  If we are able to control that shadow in ourselves, is it partly because our situation is better, and we are not suffering the way some others are?  If we're honest, when we see these folks, we're seeing ourselves and our human frailties.  So let's not condemn them, let's pray for them.

Wandering Along the Path: Right Speech

Last night our family was on Zoom to play game night.  We each picked two obscure words from the dictionary and had one true definition and two phony ones, then each couple (plus one grandchild) voted for the real definition.  It was fun, and I actually knew two of the words, I guess because I used to be an English teacher.  Next week we are going to play Scatagories.  We get to see each other, connect without any melodrama and laugh a bit.  It's amazing how technology that used to be all about conference calls is now knitting families together.  Anything can be used for good or ill.  I'm finding myself quite grateful for my IPhone, IPad, desktop and old fashioned phone.  The photos I see reassure me about my kids and grandkids, and sometimes I sit somewhere and gaze at them for comfort and joy.

Wandering Along the Path: Right Speech

Headlines in the newspaper this morning included lots of coverage of the dire drought we're in.  It makes me feel like there are a few too many crises to process, so I guess I'll just stick to oiling the patio furniture and tackling photo albums.  Our culture seems to relish the apocalyptic approach to life.  It may be fun in a movie, but as a guide to living it has nothing to offer me personally.  We watched Wonder Woman again last night, and there is a part that brings tears to my eyes every time I see it, when she asks Steve why humans are worth saving, if they wreck havoc and destruction, and he replies that it's not about deserving to be saved, but about believing.  He means allying yourself to the good, acting from love and compassion, and accepting clear eyed that humanity is both light and dark.  As is our planet.  We are complex, and so is nature.  It is bountiful and cruel, capricious and kind.  The important thing is to realize we control nothing, but we bear responsibility to act compassionately, both to each other and the earth.

Wandering Along the Path: Right Speech

I just finished talking for an hour with my childhood friend who lives on the east coast.  She's about to garden around her house, and I'm going to put a second coat of paint on a little bridge and oil down the picnic table, chairs and a bench.  But for an hour, we talked about our hopes and dreams and how our kids and grandkids are doing.  These little breaks in the predictable sameness of our days and our isolation are so valuable.  I used to call this person my sister, as we both had only one brother, hers much older and mine three years younger.  She's a strong person, with passionate opinions, and I am as well.  For a while our politics were opposed, and we just didn't discuss it.  Now we are aligned, and feel free to grumble to our hearts' content.  She reminds me of who I am and was and hope to be.  She grounds me.

Wandering Along the Path: Right Speech

I talked on the phone with my older daughter last night and she sounds good.  A beautiful thing has unfolded:  her exhusband has emerged as her strongest support.  He works at his place during the day, then comes over for dinner and spends the night with her and their daughter, so that she is not alone while she is on pain medication.  They are working together to make the best, most loving environment for our granddaughter.  And our granddaughter has her family reunited, even if it's under terrible circumstances.  They are putting their child first, truly sharing the custody, as the legal papers say.  They have triumphed over any differences to make a nest for their fledgling.  They are showing their Buddha natures, and they shine.

Wandering Along the Path: Right Speech

I grew up going to church, and as I grew older, often went to sunrise service on Easter morning.  My parents went to church that morning with us, although normally they didn't go to church often themselves, but sent us to sunday school and bible camp in the summer.  We had a big meal Sunday afternoon with ham and potatoes and coconut cake.  They hid eggs for us to find and we found Easter baskets that morning, with chocolate eggs, peeps, chocolate bunnies and a stuffed bunny.  Some years we were given live chicks or ducks, which we kept for a few weeks then my dad took them to a farm, where we could go and stand at the fence and try to pick out ours.  But I also loved the Easter outfits my mom made for us, and the parade of hats at church.  Last night my husband and I watched "Easter Parade" with Judy Garland and Fred Astaire.  I don't like the story much, but bowed to my husband's desire to see it.  There really still is a hat tradition, and until Bill Cunningham died, he documented it in his famous photos of Manhattan streets.  This is all in contrast to the celebration of spring, with all the elements borrowed from pagan traditions, and as a symbol of birth and growth and flowering, Easter sunday is a delight.  This year we all celebrated separately, but walking we could see nature bursting it's seams with joy.  And some of that joy rubbed off on us.

Wandering Along the Path: Right Speech

I just listened to my teacher's dharma talk, which always centers me.  He discussed fear arising now, because of the pandemic, and how we can PAUSE when the fear or thought arises, and then witness that thought or feeling  without immediately reacting, which will lead to a response from our higher intelligence, instead of our primitive fight or flight gut impulse.  Fear subsides if we notice what we're thinking or feeling WITHOUT immediately acting on it.  This idea of the pause has saved me many a time from acts or words that might be harmful to others and to myself.  Many years ago I began a practice of not immediately replying to a personal email, because I found myself regretting what I wrote.  A day later, my response would be completely different.  I've continued that practice, but the texting thing is trickier, as a quick response is expected.  I still take a tiny pause, or even delay a bit, so I don't embarrass myself or say something I'd be sorry for later.  That makes a phone call, which feels like an important lifeline these days, an arena where wrong speech has reared its ugly head, but then I can say something later in the call to address it or call back when I realize I've goofed.  Awareness is the key:  being able to notice words, and also the other person's reaction.  It takes effort, but it's worth it.

Wandering Along the Path: Right Speech

Our family had a Zoom night last night and it was great to be able to interact verbally, at least.  And we can see each other.  We played charades again, and laughed a lot.  Our younger daughter had to leave early because the baby woke up, and our younger son and his wife had to listen a bit while their baby fussed in his crib, and our older son's wife had to listen to their son as he pretend read his fairy unicorn stories, but it all worked out.  We stopped at ten thirty and my husband and I didn't get to sleep for an hour more, so when we woke up this morning it was nine am!  It's a dreary day, but we will carry on with our walk and seeing our younger son, his wife and our almost one grandson on the patio anyway.  Eating our lunches six feet apart.  I love that the mayor of our neighboring city (one street away) is opening up 74 miles of streets for walkers and bikers.  It will be a nice experience to not worry about cars and be able to be in the street with distance between us and others.  A little treat in a challenging time.

Wandering Along the Path: Right Speech

What do I do to comfort myself during this shelter-in-place challenging time?  I look at baby elephant videos, I FaceTime with my kids and grandkids, I talk on the phone, I listen to old CDs (yesterday it was sound tracks from films I'd seen way in the past), I read, I watch a movie every night on TV (last night it was Dante's Peak), I organize my drawers, closets and books, and other distractions.  Last night I decided to really mix it up by taking a shower after dinner.  Normally, I shower in the morning, but what the heck, I can be wild and crazy, right?  I took my time in the shower, washing my hair, shaving my underarms, waiting at least three minutes for the conditioner to work its magic.  When I stepped out, the whole room, plus the dressing room was flooded.  I had left the bathroom sink running after I'd washed out a small jar of some kind of cream which I no longer had any idea what it was.  It took every towel in the house, plus my husband running up and down the stairs bringing soggy towels to the laundry room, for the flood to be contained.  Then we had to wash said towels and dry them in the dryer.  I could not believe my forgetfulness.  I'm even more stressed than I thought. 
So you at home can try this as a different kind of evening event.  Just to mix it up, of course.

Wandering Along the Path: Right Speech

I could see because of FaceTime, that the two oldest grandsons were grumpy and sick of sheltering.  Both miss their friends, their preschools, and GETTING OUT.  They fortunately have back yards, but I guess that has gotten old, and they take a walk with their parents every day.  Yesterday the 4 year old had a half birthday celebration, and we sang to him through our phones, but later he was through with Facetiming grandma and sick of his fort in their living room.  When the 3 year old woke up from his nap he wouldn't speak to me.  He just wanted his dad to get back from picking up groceries so they could watch more of "The Secret Life of Pets".  We used to watch it with him occasionally, but not any more.  I was feeling not so good myself, although part of that was finishing "She Said", about the Weinstein harassment case.  Depressing, and at the end of it the case of Dr. Ford and Brett Kavanaugh.  Ugh.  I've got to read more uplifting material.  And we are the fortunate ones.  My grandchildren have loving homes and cosy nests, as do I.  My compassion is focused outward, at the families with domestic abuse, poverty and illness.  I pray for relief for them.

Wandering Along the Path: Right Speech

I began my morning on a happy note.  My 3 year old grandson FaceTimed me, showing me his artificial yellow tulips and his dinosaur mat and trees and mountain.  He's up and ready and nowhere to go.  By ready I mean energetically, as he was still in his underpants and pj top, as he'd sat on some of his eggs while eating.  He loves flowers and he told me he likes the tulips because they won't die.  My daughter, like all my kids, is an incredible mother, juggling him and a not quite 2 month old baby.  They are all so patient and inventive about how to keep their kids entertained.  I love that this boy has branched out from construction trucks to gardens and flowers, dinosaurs and other enthusiasms.  The same thing happened to the 4 year old grandson.  He went from trains and only trains to fairies and forts.  He also loves his garden.  I sent them both a wooden planter on legs to have real plants growing.  The older boy has had strawberries and some edible plants, but this one likes flowers.  So far he has violas and marrow, but his planter has one more box for flowers, soon to be filled.  Growing and blossoming.  Perfect.

Wandering Along the Path: Right Speech

We had a nice heavy rain yesterday, and where I live that is cause for rejoicing.  Today is sunny and beautiful.  Sunday I sent fabric and elastic to a friend of a friend to make masks.  Some of the fabric was intended for my granddaughter and foster granddaughter and her little sister, but, though the fabric was beautiful, my will to tackle the patterns was not.  Years later, I gave up the delusion I would make the skirts, and with the older two girls, that they would even WEAR a skirt, at least not one like my pattern.  The older two are in junior high and high school, and my ability to choose any clothes for them is long gone.  Time is moving on.  Though I've been cleaning like a fiend, I had not intended to throw out any sewing supplies, mainly because I like the fabric I pick, but really, fabric sitting on a shelf is such a waste.  In the future, if I sew, I will now have the pleasure of choosing new cloth, and probably it will be for a blanket or quilt, not clothing.  My skills are too minimal in that area.  Might as well accept the facts and move on.

Wandering Along the Path: Right Speech

I couldn't sleep last night thinking of my dear daughter.  She had back pain last week and had to take steroids and other meds to feel better.  She is so brave.  The suffering she has undergone is unimaginable, yet she perseveres.  Soon she will call me to come, and I dread that as well, because it means the end of her life, and the beginning of more intense suffering for her daughter and those of us who love her.  Like the Covid 19, there is no end in sight of the trauma.  I don't feel strong, I feel weak and afraid.  When I am with my daughter I will follow her lead, but will I be able to comfort her?  I guess she knows I'll try to rise to the occasion and be a rock.  But I am not a rock.  I am a weeping, flowing fountain of grief.

Wandering Along the Path: Right Speech

Today is my brother's birthday.  He died six years ago, but I think of him often.  He was perhaps the greatest love of my childhood, beyond my love of my parents.  His ashes are still in my house.  I just finished listening to my Buddhist teacher Anam Thubten, who was talking about attention and awareness, which are the antidotes to monkey mind and unnecessary suffering.  This words are so relevant at this time of the pandemic, with its dangers of too much media watching, rumors, isolation and waves of fear.  I do try to come back to the breath, or a mantra, and I pray, because that act is a way of connecting with other beings and focus on them, not my own mind.  I'm so grateful to my practice, which steadies my heart and mind, when I feel overwhelmed.  I hold all beings in my heart, which nests them as if I am their mother.  And I know others are nesting me.

Wandering Along the Path: Right Speech

Our family did Zoom last night, and it was so wonderful to talk to and see each other all at once.  We tried playing an animal guessing game, but that was too easy, so we switched to movie titles.  We did it like charades, and it elicited lots of laughter.  My grandkids had already been tucked in bed, except for our granddaughter, almost 12, who participated with her mother.  Afterwards, I felt blessed to have these amazing grown kids and grandkids, and that we are all TRYING SO HARD to support each other, be careful of each other's health, and show our love in all possible ways.  I went to bed happy, with the worry shoved to the side. 
Yesterday my husband and I also ate lunch in the backyard with our younger son, his wife and 11 month old grandson; staying carefully 6 feet from each other, bringing our own sandwiches, and basking in a warm afternoon.  And we didn't talk about the coronavirus, just shows we'd been watching and NORMAL everyday things.  Watching our grandson take his first step was a bonus.  And he was entertaining us by putting rocks in a basket, climbing the stairs to the upper part of the garden with a parent behind him, and "talking" nonstop.  Oh, joy!

Wandering Along the Path: Right Speech

The weather is great today and we had a good walk this morning.  Then our younger son, his wife and son visited us midday.  We stayed 6 feet apart from them in an abundance of caution, but we had our sandwiches out on the patio and watched our grandson take his first step.  At eleven months, he is still corral-able, so we could delight in him from a distance.  It felt so good and so normal.  Tonight our whole family is playing a game on Zoom, so that will be extra nice as well.  I even remembered, as our grandson was playing with a rhododendron blossom that they are poisonous, and rescued him before he thought to eat it.  Azaleas are also poisonous, and we have a few of those front and back, so now I'm on alert.  In a few months our youngest grandson will be a flower-eating being, so I'm now prepared.  Hopefully, we will all be able to be with our families again.

Wandering Along the Path: Right Speech

I was like a yoyo today.  I felt depressed when I got up, almost bent over with grief over my daughter.  Then I straightened my back and went on with my morning routine:  get the papers, make breakfast, get dressed, do my video for my grandkids, take a walk.  I felt much better.  I had a phone call with my therapist at 1, and she suggested that immunotherapy for my daughter might be an option. This is because her husband is an oncologist.   I texted my daughter and she said that had been one of her 3 trials she'd applied for, but they had closed down the trials because of the Covid 19.  I cried for a while.  I talked to my younger son.  He was worried about the new rule of wearing cloth masks.  We got each other both more upset and reassured ( it alternated from moment to moment).  I went outside and sat in a chair in my backyard, appreciating the sun warming me.  The hell with skin cancer.  Not my worry at this time.  We are having BLTs for dinner and I am attempting to look forward to that.  Did I tell you my therapist is sending me gloves in the mail?  How is that for caring about a client?!

Wandering Along the Path: Right Speech

We had some french bread for dinner last night.  It felt like the biggest treat ever.  I heated it with butter and garlic.  I find myself needing to order more butter.  Perhaps subconsciously I want to fatten up my palate.  The event of my day is each meal.  Another event is a FaceTime with a grandchild.  They are so sweet and smiley, even the 6 week old baby.  I hunger to hold them and be around their optimism and energy.  My other big events each day are talking on the phone to friends and walks.  You can see the cabin fever escalating each day, as more people are out walking and some are oblivious to how close they are getting and we are out in the street more and more to avoid them.  Going to parks, though there are many beautiful ones nearby is an exercise in futility.  Either they are closed or you risk being in a herd of people.  So we just walk the neighborhood.  Yesterday I had a big treat:  my friend and I, after 2 weeks in isolation, took a walk together and at one point I spotted a long bench.  She sat on one end and I the other, and we just talked about her mother's recent death, and I my daughter's cancer, and we commiserated and comforted each other.  Heart to heart, you might say, and I definitely would.

Wandering Along the Path: Right Speech

Yesterday was our 46th wedding anniversary.  Luckily, last year we gathered all the family at our favorite spa/mineral pool a couple of hours north, and we had a great weekend.  This year I made coq au vin for the two of us, and my husband found a $9 bottle of champagne in the back of the pantry, and it wasn't even too bad.  We watched "Murphy's Romance" and I shared my Stevia chocolate bar with him.  I've been thinking back to our anniversary trips, good and not so good, and also remembering our amazing chemistry and our vibrant lives together.  Maybe we're not still IN LOVE the way we were, but we have understandings that make up for that.  We're nothing alike, but that has worked to our advantage in many ways.  We are masters of compromise, and we also don't depend on each other too much.  I have friends I feel as close or closer to, and he has his passions I don't share, but we both adore art, travel and nature.  He gifted me with camping and national parks and the curiosity of a scientist, and my reading and social strengths have expanded his world.  We had one grumpy day so far in our sheltering, but we do pretty well, because we give each other a wide berth when we need it, and we are walking buddies each day.  So today I'm appreciating this long, windy partnership, and infinitely grateful.